| 10:47a |
@@@@@A mosquito began to sing about his ears and
@@@@@A mosquito began to sing about his ears and his neck, and he waited for it to bite him so that he could crush itIt made him think that there might be insects in the hole with him, and his body began to crawl, and for a few moments he was certain an ant was traveling down his backIt recalled to him the roaches that had infested the first apartment he had had when he was marriedHe remembered how he had reassured his wife, "There's nothing to worry about, ZeldaI can tell you from my studies that the roach is not too vicious a pest Zelda had got some idea that there must be bedbugs also, and no matter how many times he reassured her, "Zelda, roaches eat bedbugs," she would start up in bed, and grasp him with fear, "Herman, I know there's something biting me
"But I tell you that's impossible
"Don't tell me about your roaches," she would whisper angrily in the darkened bedroom"If roaches take care of bedbugs they have to get into the bed to do it, don't they?"
Roth felt a mingled pleasure and wistfulness in rememberingTheir life together had not been all that he had hopedThere were so many fights, and Zelda had a cruel tongue; he recalled how she had taunted him with his education and the fact that he could make no moneyIt had not been entirely her fault, he thought, but then it had not been his eitherIt was just that you didn't get everything you had hoped for when you were a kidHe wiped his hands on his fatigue trousers with a slow thorough motionZelda had been a good wife in some waysTheir quarrels had become as difficult for him to remember as her faceHe mused about her now, and in his mind she became another woman, many womenHe began to construct a lewd fantasy in his mind
Roth dreamt he was taking pornographic pictures of a model whom he had dressed as a cowgirlShe was wearing a ten-gallon hat, and a leather fringe about an inch wide across her breasts, and a leather holster and cartridge belt slung at an angle across her hipsHe imagined now that he was telling her which way to pose and she was obeying with a tantalizing insoucianceHis groin began to ache, and he sat there, brooding, dreaming
After a time he became sleepy again, and tried to fight against itSome artillery was firing steadily a mile or two away, the sounds loud, then muffled, then loud againIt gave him a secure feel |